Christian Conditioning

I sat in the circle with the others to pray. The music started (track 3), within 10 seconds there was moaning, tongues, cries of "yes Lord".

My first thought was-look at them, so conditioned. Dance, monkey dance!

Then it hit me. Why can't I have a cathartic moment like that when I pray? Have I worked out all my issues-->no. Do I need help from God-->yes. Am I better than these people-->no, obviously not.

I want to meet Him. I am looking for Him. I know He is around.